Problems Again

Hi to all,

I am so sorry that it has been so long since I posted here. I will really try to keep this more regularly done. Anyway, my son wants to move in with me this Fall. He mentioned it just after I moved into this new apartment here in north Dallas. I was obviously very happy about it, but was not sure how my ex would respond. Now that she has responded, I realize I did have some idea how she would respond and she was true to form.

My son told her he wanted to move in with me in the Fall about two weeks ago. In spite of this, she did not contact me at all and did not even mention it the next time she saw me face to face. So I contacted her and it turns out that she claims she was not sure how to approach me with her list of concerns about him living with me. The truth was more likely that she was not wanting to deal with it and was probably hoping to avoid a confrontation with me until it was too late to get him set up for school here.

So I asked her what concerns she has and she tells me for one thing, she is concerned about my depression. I told her that I have felt much better since moving to the Dallas area. Then she says she is worried about whether or not I can keep my job and not have to move suddenly. I told her that the main reason I chose to move here instead of Waco is because I knew I could get a better paying job here and get employment fast. If I had tried to move to Waco again, I doubt I would have a job even now. I was unemployed for almost 3 months in Waco the last time I found myself looking for work there.

I also said I have family nearby and friends here already and really love the congregation that I worship with as well. She then said she is afraid that I will talk to our son about things I shouldn’t regarding my feelings about her and all. She said that I wrote something in my step-daughter’s graduation card that made her very uncomfortable. I told her that because my relationship with my step-daughter has been almost non-existent, I just wanted to express to her that in spite of the fact that her mom and I split up, I love her like a daughter and really want to be there for her as much as I can. I wrote that I missed her and hoped she knew she could always call me or come visit anytime. Is that inappropriate? I told her that I don’t talk to our son about the fact that his mom and I will never get back together again, because he is smart and already knows that. He expects her to marry her current boyfriend soon and so there is no need to talk about it. Although, I did ask him if he would be okay with his mom marrying her new boyfriend once…but she did the same thing. She talked with him about the possibility that she would marry this guy. So I am not sure what concerns her about what I talk with our son about.

She was on her way to her second job and so she said she would try to talk with me more about all this later. She wanted to know if our son found he was not liking school up here and living with me, could he move back in with her? What a stupid question! I would not force him to stay here if he wanted to move back in with her. She makes me very upset to say the least. It is not like I don’t have concerns of my own. In fact, I think my concerns about him living with her are much bigger than her concerns about me.

She has pretty much stopped attending church altogether and the man she will most likely marry is not a Christian. He claims to be, but he is Pentecostal and doesn’t really attend regularly. In fact, I don’t think he attends at all anymore either. Also, according to our son, his mom and his half-sister use curse words on a regular basis now around the house. That was not at all acceptable when I was there. She also has no problem with letting my step-daughter drink alcoholic beverages, stay out all night with her non-Christian boyfriend…and other guys and girls she is friends with from school. It seems to me that there is no moral compass in that home anymore and I don’t like the idea of my son living in that environment. He needs to attend church regularly and have Christian influences in the home environment. I do not curse, nor do I watch inappropriate shows on TV. I also provide my son a good example in my daily practice of reading my Bible and studying to prepare Bible lessons, etc.

My ex has a real talent for making me feel worthless as a person and re-opens wounds from the divorce easily too. Yet, when I stop and think, I have much more important and valid concerns about her than she does about me. I am doing fine here in Dallas and really believe that this is only the beginning of bigger and better things in my life. To have my son with me most of the time is an added bonus as well. Well, I had better stop this rambling post and get going for now, but I will write again very soon I promise.

Is It Wrong To Judge Others?

I have been told many times that it is wrong to judge others. The funny thing about it is that the people who tell me not to judge others are very judgmental of those they think are being judgmental. So where do they get this idea that we should not judge others? What does the Bible reveal about judging others?

Matt.7:1-6
1 “Judge not, that you be not judged.2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.6 “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.

In this passage above, it is Jesus who is speaking. Most people who say you should not judge others get this idea from the very first verse of Matthew chapter 7. But they really should read the rest of the passage to fully understand what Jesus was actually teaching. What is important is the standard you use when judging others. Jesus is teaching against poor judgment and being hypocritical in our judgment of others. He says that we will be judged by the same measure we use in judging others. He also says to take the log out of our own eye so that we can see clearly enough to remove the speck out of our brother’s eye. Now let’s see what else the Scriptures teach regarding judging others.

John 7:24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”

Here is another quote from Jesus. He had just healed a man on the Sabbath Day and the Jewish crowd was condemning Him for healing a man on the Sabbath. Jesus was explaining to them that their judgment was not good, but they should judge with right judgment. Clearly it is possible to judge others with right judgment. Here is another passage to consider.

I Cor. 5:9-13
9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people10 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world.11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler–not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

Paul was writing to the church in Corinth. He clearly states in verse twelve that it is those inside the church we must judge and that we must “purge the evil person” from among us. God judges those who are outside. Here is one final verse to leave with you.

Rom. 16:17 I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them.

Paul was writing to the church in Rome and he instructs them to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine they were taught and to avoid them. We are not able to see the heart of man as God and Jesus are able to do. We can only judge others by observing what they say and do. It is because of this fact that we must be careful when we are judging others, but we cannot avoid judging others altogether. We have to determine who is lost and who is a fellow Christian so that we can know who needs to be taught the Gospel. We have to determine who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing among us as well. When someone is teaching or preaching, we must search the scriptures to determine if what they are teaching is really the truth.

Satan wants us to think it is wrong to judge others at all. This is just another sneaky way that he can pervert the Lord’s church and lead many astray. Be watchful and be careful how you judge others. The measure to be used is the Word of God. We cannot know for sure who will go to heaven or hell, but we can know who needs to know about Jesus and how to be a true Christian. May God bless us as we strive to live our lives in a manner pleasing to Him.

American Idol 6 Top 6 – Jordin Sparks

Another goose bump performance by Jordin Sparks. I think she has a real shot of winning this season and I will probably purchase her albums. Amazing at only 17 years old.

Mario Lanza Because

Here is a clip of my favorite tenor of all time. I have wanted to sing like him since I first heard him sing. I think I was 9 years old the first time I heard him. My dad loved his singing too and was the one who introduced him to me. Mario Lanza was his stage name and he was truly brilliant.

What Lies Ahead

I have been thinking often about my life recently and what path I have been on. It seems that things rarely go the way we plan them. I have wanted to obtain a degree in Music since I was young. Things occurred that I never expected and here I am 42 years old, divorced with a 13 year old son that sees me every other weekend and still working toward a degree in Music Education. I went to a community college when I was still married and did very well. Then I had to stop attending college due to our financial situation. It was in that period of time that my marriage problems began to really surface. I decided to return to pursuing my degree in Music Education last year and moved here to attend Stephen F. Austin State University.

If I were to stay here and continue my education, it would be another year and a half at least before I would be able to graduate (maybe longer). Now I have been talking to a psychiatrist trying to deal with many things that seem to have me unable to perform well in school. After much consideration, I have decided to at least temporarily end my pursuit of a degree and will move to North Dallas and seek employment. After I get into a more stable situation, I plan attend night classes and obtain a Liberal Arts degree. I am not sure what the future holds for me and each day is a blessing from God. I know that if it is God’s will, things will get better and my plans for the future will only come to fruition if they are in His plans for me.

I have wanted to return to the Dallas area for quite a while and so although I am again ending my pursuit for a college degree, I believe this is a necessary change. I pray that it will be best for me and my son as well. Yet, all this has caused me to recall certain passages of scripture that I think we all should remember as we make plans for our future.

Pro 4:25-27
25 Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.26 Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.27 Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil.

Pro 15:22 Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

Pro 16:3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.

Pro 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Pro 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.

Pro 21:5 The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

Philippians 3:13-16
13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

God’s holy word is always so important to look to for wisdom in this life. All these that I have shared are extremely important for me in this moment of my life and I hope it will benefit you all as well.

The 26th was the anniversary of the day that Beethoven died way back in the year 1827. Ludwig Van Beethoven was one of the most influential and brilliant composers who has ever lived. He was just over 56 years old when he died and recent evidence has been discovered that indicates he most likely died of lead poisoning. Most thought that he died of pneumonia after walking in the rain, which he had done many times. Beethoven loved nature and enjoyed walking along the Rhine river in Bonn, Germany. He enjoyed walks in all weather conditions. He was reported to have never been sick a day in his life.

It is believed that he began to lose his hearing at about the year 1796 and suffered from a severe form of tinnitus. The lead poisoning would explain his loss of hearing…but some have attributed it to beatings by his father, or syphilis, or typhus. He was totally deaf for the last ten years of his life and yet continued to produce some of his most amazing compositions. His deafness did eventually make it near impossible to perform in concert which was a major source of income for him. He did manage to conduct his 9th Symphony while totally deaf. There is a well-sustained story that when he was done with the concert, he heard no applause and began to weep. Then the first chair violinist turned him around toward the audience to show him that he had been given a standing ovation.

I had intended to write something on the 26th of March to honor my most favorite Composer of Music, but school and other things weighing heavy on my mind have delayed me. I was not able to really focus enough to write much of anything. I know that most of you will understand my situation. I encourage you all to do some research on the life of Beethoven. He was a very complicated and interesting man. He lived an amazing life and claimed to have gained inspiration from nature. He was religious and loved the idea of democracy. He longed for Germany to have the kind of government that had been born in the United States of America which was at that time still a very young country.

American Idol 6 – Top 11 – Jordin Sparks Performance!

This was one of the best performances I have seen on American Idol. She gave me goose bumps!

What Accent Do You Have?

I took this test to see what kind of accent I have and it is not all that accurate in my opinion. Most people who hear me talk don’t think I am from Chicago or somewhere in Wisconsin. The generally do think I sound more like I am from Virginia or that I don’t have an accent at all. Oh well, it was a fun quiz to take anyway.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North   You may think you speak “Standard English straight out of the dictionary” but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like “Are you from Wisconsin?” or “Are you from Chicago?” Chances are you call carbonated drinks “pop.”
Philadelphia
The Northeast
The Midland
The South
Boston
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Back To Music Education!

Well, today the Spring Semester 2007 started at SFASU and I am now a Music Education Major once again. I am excited about this semester and really am going to enjoy taking music classes once again. I am taking Music History I, Astronomy (because I can take it instead of Biology), French Diction, private Voice lessons, Interpersonal Communications, and choir. The toughest class by far will be the Music History class, but I am already hard at work.

I also will be required to sing three classical songs, two in foreign languages and one in English for all the voice teachers at the end of the Semester. This is to get approval to move up in the difficulty level of voice lessons. No pressure right? I don’t have any doubt in my abilities in singing though and really like my voice teacher. It makes all the difference in the world when a vocal teacher tells you how to do a certain technique and you can really understand him/her and do exactly what they ask you to do.

Rocky Balboa

I went to see the newest and last movie in the Rocky series this last Saturday and I have to tell you that I was really surprised and thankful that I went to see it. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought that Sly was really too old to do another Rocky movie. Yet, he pulled it off and actually achieved more than I ever expected he would in this last one.

I grew up loving these movies. I really enjoyed the first three especially. Even the fourth movie had some great stuff in it. But then, the 5th movie came out and I have to tell you, I hated it. It was by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Even Sylvester Stallone was sorry that he made that one. I wish that Stallone would permanently removed from the series. So, the fact that the fifth movie was so terrible and that Stallone waited so long to make this sixth and final Rocky movie, really had me afraid to go see it. But boy, was I ever glad that I did.

Rocky is an iconic character. He is the ultimate underdog. He defies the odds that are against him. All of the first four movies had inspiring messages and deep important life-lessons one could take home. The fifth one lacked any real purpose. Yet, in this sixth one, he really got it right. This movie really says that as long as you believe in yourself, you can achieve your dreams.

I want to share my most favorite part of the movie with you. In this scene, Rocky is talking to his son. His son has been trying to get out from under Rocky’s shadow and is upset with his dad because his dad is once again getting lots of attention. He accepted an invitation from the Heavyweight Champion to box in an exhibition match. His son thinks that Rocky is going to make a fool of himself and make life harder for him as well. His son is really concerned about what other people are going to think. So here is what Rocky says to his son:

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean, and nasty place an’ no matter how tough you think you are, it’ll always beat you if you let it. It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! If you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointin‘ fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that, and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”

I was truly inspired by this movie and I highly recommend it to all.